After our delightful experience at Sidebern’s, and having displayed the ability to control myself and behave like a rational, quasi-well-mannered person in public, I was extended yet another invitation to try out some alcohol. I, myself, was shocked at this, having assumed that last time I had caused a scene and burned Sidebern’s to the ground in a drunken rage after drinking far too much (one drink). Well, it turns out that particular lapse in memory must have been caused by something entirely other than inebriation (note to self: try to figure out why I keep… uh… I keep… whatever, I’ll remember later). Huzzah! That means I get another chance to be given booze.

…they probably wouldn’t have been so kind had they known I was a recovering alcoholic*.

So this time, the invitation came from Fleming’s Steakhouse, and concerned a cocktail called “The Caipirinha Cooler”. I’ll let you know right now, at no point during this evening did I either pronounce or learn to pronounce the word ‘Caipirinha’ correctly. I don’t even know how to spell it. In fact, as I type, it seems to have a black hole effect on all my spelling, causing typos in all words around it. Only through the good graces of patience and the backspace key is this review possible.

When we arrived, we were supposed to meet with one of the managers. A moment later, one of the managers came out, and as I explained who I was, I was informed that she had not heard anything about me coming, or any invitation. Worse yet, my inability to say Caipirinha, coupled with my spotty memory denying me access to the name of the cocktail completely, resulted in my inability to even explain what I was there for. Stammering. Fear. I needed a drink.

They were kind enough to seat us anyway, and as we did, I made an emergency call to the kind lady who had set this up for me. Mere moments later, all had been sorted out, and I was treated as a king. A KING! I was much happier, but of course I was still thankful to have a drink.

Finally. Alcohol. Yessss.

The Caipirinha Cooler is a simple cocktail, featuring Brazilian rum, simple syrup, and muddled seasonal berries (including blueberries and raspberries). And it was very pretty to look at, clear, with the devastated berries floating around in their final resting place. Upon drinking, it had a large liquor taste, almost medicinal. This bad boy was all rum. But there was definitely a berry presence there, mostly raspberry, especially in the aftertaste (which is not a bad thing at all). It was sweet, but that sweetness may have factored into its tasting like a particularly strong liquid medicine from your childhood. But I like rum, and the rum was good, so this was not a bad drink to me. My ‘drinking partner’, however, did not very much care for this. I could see ordering it again, but I wouldn’t want to have more than one.

As a result of the misunderstanding earlier, or perhaps just out of the kindness of their hearts, we were offered another cocktail, which they had recently concocted, just in time for valentines day. Who am I to say no to a drink? Especially one called the “Tickled Pink”?

The tickled pink was quite pink. Quite pink. After having just drank a fruity pink cocktail, I felt my masculine presence quickly slipping away from me. But a couple grunts, a fart, and repeatedly screaming “THOSE GIANTS ARE GONNA COST US THE PENNANT!!”, and I was back in the saddle of manliness. I proceeded to throw back the pink drink, proudly extending my pinky to its highest extent.

The tickled pink is a vodka based drink, with prosecco and a raspberry puree. Its selling point was its scant 99 calorie content. Which literally means nothing to me. It had an opaque pink color, which was pretty nice to look at, and was accompanied by a slice of orange. And it tasted like vodka. I guess Fleming’s keeps their drinks strong, because the most prominent taste in both cocktails was the liquor they used. And I… I am not a fan of vodka (I ‘overdid’ it once, long ago, and I haven’t been the same since). So this was not a drink I enjoyed. The raspberry puree did factor into the flavor, but it could have been a much bigger part of this drink without hurting it in any way. The bubbly prosecco finish was probably the best part of the drink. But I just couldn’t get past the taste of the vodka. Blegh. My friend enjoyed this one quite a bit, though, so if you’re into vodka, and you’re a little girl, this just may be the drink for you!

We had their Sweet Chile Calamari as an accompaniment to the drinks, which was a great choice. It was probably the best calamari I’ve ever had. It was big pieces, simply breaded and fried, and served in a sweet chili sauce with peppers strewn about the plate. It was fantastic. The sauce was only lightly sweet, with a peppery presence, and the peppers themselves provided a nice spice to counter the sauce. The calamari was a bit chewy, but about how I’m used to it tasting.

…some of the pieces were full little squids, which is icky, but I had already lost all of my manliness points on the froofy cocktails, so I manned up and ate them. I cried on the way home.

All in all, this was a very nice experience, but the cocktails were really not my thing. If I’m ordering a cocktail, it’s because I do not want to taste any alcohol, and instead want to delight in that magical fruitiness that they can offer. But even the bartender told us that people either really liked these drinks or they really didn’t. So they may be worth checking out, but I would not suggest going there just for the drinks. I will, however, return, as the atmosphere was nice, and I do love a good steak.

*NOTE: I am not now, nor have I ever been, a recovering alcoholic. Because I’m no quitter.